Marriage Date Night

First, let’s just get the credits out right now.  I snagged this adventure from my church, The Crossing, in Quincy. My husband and I participated in this date night challenge, and it was one of the greatest dates we ever had. I’m including dates when we were newly in love and still in the courtship phase; I know I’m dating myself. I have made a few minor changes to the challenge. My husband and I are a Christian couple, but understand some may not be comfortable with that setting. No worries. There are options for you if that is the case.

This challenge was intended to have surprises along the way, as they were in unopened envelopes. You could only open your envelopes at certain intervals of the date. I can’t do that since we’re publishing in a circulation. You, the reader, have the advantage but don’t take advantage of the date. Keep your mind open to the spontaneity of the date. Do your part to make it fresh and exciting. I invite you to copy and paste the envelop portions of this article and put them in your own envelopes. Note-taking is unnecessary, so you could share these envelopes with your friends or family members when you’re done with your date.

Now, you must set aside plenty of time for your date. You should be spending more than the usual amount of time at a restaurant. If you’re ready for your date, let’s go.

Envelope 1

Our relationship with our spouse is the most important we have. Please take this opportunity to set everything else aside, focus on each other, and make this night matter.

Your first task for the evening is to select a restaurant. Making memories as a couple is important, so take a selfie together or ask your server to take your picture. If you want to, share your picture on social media and tell your friends about your evening plans. Let them follow your date and see your enjoyment in one another. I encourage you to start your own hashtag. This could be something you continue to post for years to come. Just think about the memories this evening could spark years later.

Open Envelope 2 after you have ordered your drinks, but before you order your meal.

Envelope 2

As you look over the menu to decide what to order, consider the following:

1. Be adventurous. Pick three meals you would like, share these with your spouse, and then let them choose what you will eat!

2. Share funny memories of each other.

3. Now that you’ve taken your selfie set your phones down and leave them down until you are ready to pay your bill. This might be difficult, but it will be worth it!

Wait to open Envelope 3 until after you have

ordered your meal.

Envelope 3

Take some time to discuss the following questions and make sure you both respond:

1. How did you know I was the one when we first fell in love?

2. What’s one or two things you love most about me?

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3. What is something I do that you would like me to do more often?

4. What is something I used to do that you would like me to start doing again?

In marriage, it is crucial to do our part, be united, and meet each other’s needs. Really spend some time discussing these questions and commit tonight to start doing these things more often or to start doing these things again.

If dinner has not been served yet, go ahead and open Envelope 4.  However, if your food has arrived, pray for your dinner and thank God for providing and blessing you with your spouse. If prayers are not something you are comfortable with, take a moment or two to sit quietly and BE thankful for your spouse.  

Get a few bits in and then open Envelope 4.

Envelope 4

You’ve made it to the halfway point of our date night!  We hope you’re enjoying this night out and special time spent with your spouse. It’s time to go a little deeper in your discussion, and for this step, there are some ground rules:

Just listen! Whatever your spouse says, do not argue or defend yourself.

Respond with grace. After your spouse has shared, ask them what you can do to make them a greater priority in your life. Receive and recognize what they ask you to do, whatever the answer may be. Most likely, whatever their answer is, even if it is hard to hear, your spouse is being honest because they care about your relationship and you.

Now that we’ve covered the rules let’s get to the question. Take turns responding and discussing:

Do you feel like I make you the priority you need to be and deserve to be in my life?

After you’ve discussed everything,

open Envelope 5.

Envelope 5

Look your spouse in the eyes, tell them how much you love them and how committed you are to them. Have the courage to open up a bit more than you usually would and share how you can be praying for one another. Listen closely to each other’s response.

It may even be helpful to record your spouse’s prayer request in your notes app, or email or text yourself.  It’s important that you remember each other’s requests and commit to praying for them regularly.

If praying is not something you are comfortable with, commit to making your spouse’s requests a priority every day. Record your spouse’s request and remind yourself of the request regularly.

Finish dinner, and before you leave, open

Envelope 6.

Envelope 6

Wife, choose a place, not too far away, where you share a special memory with your husband. Drive there and find a place to park for a bit, or drive past it and continue to talk as you’re driving. Share the memories you have of this place.

Once you have both shared, answer this question:  What do you dream about? In other words, what things do you hope to accomplish or experience? Now, discuss how you can work together to make these things a reality. Even if the dreams are great, how can you take small steps together in that direction?

Once you have had time to discuss these things, open Envelope 7.

Envelope 7

Husband, choose a place, not too far away, where you share a special memory with your wife. Drive there and find a place to park for a bit, or drive past it and continue to talk as you’re driving. Share the memories you have of this place. It is so important to value this kind of time together, just the two of you. What are a couple of specific reasons you find these times so valuable?

OK, before you open Envelop 8, tell your spouse something you really like about them. This is not why you love them, but rather what you like about them. Take turns telling each other something interesting about the other, something important you value in them as a person, something

humorous they do that makes your day, etc.

Once you have had the time you need to discuss these things, open Envelope 8.

Envelope 8

Congratulations! You made it to the final step of the date! It is so important to not skip this step. Before I let you go, enjoy the rest of your evening. Pick a day in the next four weeks to schedule your next date.  Do this right now before you forget! Seriously, get your calendar out and schedule it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in your marriage. We know that everyone’s desire is to have a strong relationship with their spouse, and we believe that continuing to date each other is an important aspect of a BETTER marriage!

Submitted by Lisa Freed